Fifteen

Years back when I was just about to be 15, the one thing which kept me awake all night was the thought of looking into the mirror. It wasn’t because I admired myself like I never required anyone to make me their muse, but because I thought of what the other 15 year olds did. A smile, the obsession with keeping the hair perfect and a light perfume which my mom used to wear. I really thought that was the best thing I could ever get!
Excitement through the summer days, sleeping away exactly when I needed to be awake and dreaming about the time when I will find someone. Eventually, life happened to me. Now I am 21.

To be with you, is to find myself in a new way.

A lot of ‘me’ are twenty-one tuning into a regular Taylor Swift song for the drive to wake us up the next hour and push the last bit to keep going. The amount of smiles on our faces seems to have been visiting just when the over hyped cinema is on the screen. I never thought about how within a span of five years, this already planned life of mine would seem so lost.
Now, I love roaming around random unknown streets in the middle of the city. Google doesn’t help me much but the strangers do. If it is one good afternoon full of breeze and the clouds taking over the sun, then that is probably the best I could ever wish for. Once, maybe for once, I’d be with someone who would be the same clueless person, as I am. Roaming around these almost known paths till we get muscle cramps because after all, holding onto you this way seems peaceful.

I was told to change the ending. It wasn’t some random important person but me who spoke to myself. Sometime in the mid evening, I felt like changing the course of events. Afterall, why would anything decide how a little soul should walk around smiling? But, even if there was so much to say, it never worked more than ‘we’ll be okay.’

©Trayee